the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
