What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
