Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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