i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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