I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think a kid would responsible me up
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
