you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
