how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
