I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
