Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
