You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
