did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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