We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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