I want you more than these girls want KFC
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
where are you?
Hypothermia
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
