Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Randomize