Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
