you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
