dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
North Korea, Best Korea!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
