it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
