Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
