I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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