I puked a lego.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
