who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
