I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
