I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
