Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
