thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
