got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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