Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
