Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
