there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
