did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
