I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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