white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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