barbara walters just said penis...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
