Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
