Define "chronic" masturbator.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
