Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
