every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
