my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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