It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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