whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
