honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
