I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
