the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
