They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
