Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
