I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I wanna bring you to show and tell
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
