I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
