That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
