I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
