I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
