Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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