hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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