handjob tips. give me some.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
is that a dick in a sweater?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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