just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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