I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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